So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
