I'm an idiot
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I just had sex on a roof
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.