Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.