lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.