Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again