Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
