You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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