hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
