I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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