i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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