the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
