i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
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i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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