But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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