Say something about gay babies.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
