hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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