Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
