i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
