at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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