I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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