Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
