The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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