i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
