oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
