Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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