I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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