so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
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he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
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MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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