you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
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Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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