I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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