so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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