STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
