problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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