i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
