Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
