Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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