i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
