I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
