we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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