let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
