I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm always down for nudity.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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