Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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