I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize