I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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