She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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