you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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