I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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