it wasn't lemon gatorade
Please, let me fuck your mom
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
