for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
