all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
