omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize