i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
