thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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