i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
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Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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