Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
