I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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