What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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