the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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