My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
