apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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