am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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