I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
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i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong