I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her