she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
