I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
