So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.